Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
