From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
