Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
