so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
