she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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