Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
