hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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