Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
