When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
