I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My balls are so social today.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We have so much sex to catch up on
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
