you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
