420 ftw
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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