mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
