I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So much rum. So many feels.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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