O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
