dude i'm inner monologue high
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
