she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
