I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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