I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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