Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
