very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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