Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
