How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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