Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
