My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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