I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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