i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
