When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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