She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
