best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
