I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
