When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
