Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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