I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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