So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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