my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
