Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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