Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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