im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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