I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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