PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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