so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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