vagina is talking i cant
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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