I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
