I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
