Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
