I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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