Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
