Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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