using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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