haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
