That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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