you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
